How Things Look vs How Things Are | A Rambling Discussion

WARNING: The following mess of text has no structure. Proceed at your own risk.


I was just thinking about how I don’t have an opinion on a lot of things.

There are a lot of things that I see both sides of the argument and my brain is like, “Well, this side has thing which is like that thing, but that side has that thing too which is like this thing, and both sides don’t consider the other stuff!” and then I give up because I can’t wrap my head around my own thoughts.

I guess this is odd-sounding you, but it happens to me all the time.

Another slightly related bit to this is that people probably think I don’t think about important stuff, and I do. I just think about it so much that I prevent myself from coming to a conclusion. And of course, people must think I’m flaky, coming up with decisions at the last possible second, not putting any thought into these decisions because I didn’t consider them until just now.

But I DO consider them. I consider them months in advance, arrive at a conclusion, realize there might be a hole in that decisions and start all over. I re-evaluate every aspect of a decision repeatedly as the deadline approaches, unsure of which one is 100% right and when I finally get to the due date I take all the information I have learned and I use it to make a final split second decision that I hopefully won’t regret later.

It seems like I just pulled an answer out of thin air, but I didn’t. In fact, I have been thinking about that answer for much longer than I should have. I just didn’t bring it up, because I know I will change my mind repeatedly leading up to D-Day as new information comes in, and I would appear flaky if the world knew about this thought process. Well, flakier I already must appear, anyway.

And you know, I think it’s prudent to note that my thought are a giant imbroglio 97% of the time and the other 3% I’m asleep. :p

But seriously. The reason I post this, is because I think maybe there’s a merit in here somewhere: I know I must seem ridiculous on the outside, unable to reach a logical decision and incapable of doing anything more than backing away from conflated arguments made my own mind, but at the end of the day it all works out. At the end of the day I function about the same as everyone else. At the end of the day, I get stuff done too, though perhaps not quite as efficiently as they do.

You can’t judge a person, or a thing, or a process- you can’t judge anything without all the information. That’s a double-analogy- I can’t make judgments until the last second, and you shouldn’t judge a book by it’s cover.

I’m not directing this at anyone, I’m not really ranting, I’m not really saying a whole lot of anything. I just think the world is sometimes a little too judgmental about things, and while I accept this as part of the reality, an inescapable part of the real world, I also wish it wasn’t so, and I have a built in example. And I wanted to share it.

Sometimes something that looks odd isn’t convoluted. It’s just…unique. And there isn’t anything wrong with hat. As long as we all get where we’re going, what does it really mater how we go about getting there?

And besides, if you think about it, we all do things that people could easily judge wrongly from the outside, and probably do. So sometimes you just have to put yourself in shoes that aren’t yours now and again to remind yourself of how things are for other people.

I mean, looks can be deceiving. We all know that phrase. But do we ever actually apply it? I’m not so sure. I know the internet doesn’t, but that’s the internet- not a good place to look for the niceties of humanity. In the real world, do we?

Are there even many “niceties of humanity” left?

Optimist that I am, I prefer to think that there are, and I prefer to think that people don’t mean to be rude or judgmental- it just happens. But you can stop that sort of thing by just looking at the why of something before deciding the what.

And, you know, I think people just need to be reminded sometimes about that sort of thing. And I think sharing a personal example makes it resonate.

Things don’t always look how they are, and things aren’t always how they look.

That’s all I was thinking about on this Friday afternoon.

Just… think about it before you make your judgement.


4 thoughts on “How Things Look vs How Things Are | A Rambling Discussion

    1. Cass W. says:

      Thanks for the reblog! 🙂 I’m glad you liked it! I almost didn’t post this cause I thought it was too personal/messy/whatever…. Glad I did now. 😉

  1. icedteapurplegem says:

    Really wonderful! That was so cool how you went from indecision to judging how things look, because that totally happens! Having relied solely on fanciful discernment and real intuition for so many years, I have to remind myself that my intuition gives me information, but not that I have to act on it immediately, and I’ve started to give people more grace, more chances to wait for their own explanation. It’s been really wonderful, and I’ve loved learning more about them before making a decision. But it still bothers me when people make a conclusion about me before asking.
    I could relate SO much to the thought process you described in the first part!! So cool! (And, I loved the first sentence, lol! I feel the need to state that on much of my writing! 😀 )

    1. Cass W. says:

      Aww lol thanks! I need to just write posts with no plan more often :p IKR, I look back on myself three years ago- heck, my earliest blog posts even and think “Oh my gosh I was so mean and judgmental what was wrong with me?” and I still remember thinking other people were too judgmental back then. The development of Intuition, eh?…
      LOL me too!

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