Promises & Lies | INFPs & Honesty/Tact

In response to this daily prompt | also a sort of continuation on this old post of mine….

Honesty is a very good policy. Anything less than the truth can only cause problems for everyone, and lying IS wrong. There’s simply no getting around that fact.

The thing is, though, I have to be honest- sometimes I… well, I don’t lie. I just kind of… fail to tell the truth.

I don’t say anything at all, in other words, at times when I probably should.

It’s not necessarily that I don’t trust others with my thoughts, nor is it that I’m too shy to comment.

It’s just that… well… I don’t like saying anything that is anything less than inspiring. You know the drill- if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.  I spend a lot of time not saying anything at all. Not because I only have rude things to say, of course it’s not that, but because my idea of the distinction between “nice” and “not nice” compared to most people’s is really quite silly.

I can’t say no to much of anything, in other words, because I hate disappointing people, not being who they wanted me to be. Even whilst I revel in my own individuality, I feel guilty about it. Just a little. I shouldn’t. NO ONE should ever make amends to their personality because of someone else. As long as your personality isn’t destructive or illegal, you are who you are, and no one is allowed to change that. You’re not allowed to apologize for it. You’re YOU and you should be proud of that.

And I am, but it’s just that… I feel a little bit guilty about it too. Just a touch. Because people expect things of me I’m not meant to produce, sometimes, and I find myself feeling like a horrible person for dashing the hopes based upon my non-existent personality traits, or pretending to be something I’m not and probably never will be for the sake of it.

I shouldn’t have to do that. And if YOU do that, I’ll tell you right now to stop doing it. It’s silly. I just can’t seem to not do it.

Tact is another factor. Tact is the fine balance between the truth and not offending people. As an INFP in MBTI, I have a pretty good sense of tact… mostly.

It’s not telling a lie without saying something in a way that is insulting, re-enforcing the positives and mentioning the negatives offhand.

Then of course, there are promises.

Promises are those things you say you’ll do and you DO IT.

I always do the things I swear I’m going to…. eventually… I mean, I have promised to update the monthly newsletter on my game help sire for Howrse.com for a long time now. It wasn’t until a few days ago I finally out together a quiz asking the readers what changes they’d like to see.

In other words, it’s been about four months I’ve been saying it and I finally did it. But I was always going to do it… I was just gonna do it quicker. And judging by the speed of quiz responses, I’ll need to wait a good while to know what they want and make said changes. :p

The thing is, at any given time, I have eighty bazillion idea in my head. None of them are all that well thought out and a good half of them are really just stupid. The other half are probably never gonna happen.

As such, I try to not mention anything ahead of time in case I end up not doing it. Heck, I’m now studying for SATs and I JUST told my parents what I plan to major in- to make sure I wouldn’t change my mind in case something else came up so I wouldn’t disappoint everybody and appear flaky and indecisive.

I DO think a lot of that is INFP-dom at its’ finest, but much of it is just me and my natural ridiculousness.

But in the end, I’m me.

And I guess I am okay with that.

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