I saw this prompt in the email inbox this morning and I knew that even if I had to MAKE time, I needed to write something about it. Even if it was short! (Oh man, I just do way too much STUFF. I never have time to do all the stuff I plan on doing, lol).
Lying IS wrong. There’s no doubt about that. You just shouldn’t do it. It’s too hard to remember, it’s too easy to get caught, and it’s too hard to regain trust.
But there’s a fine line between tact and lying, and I try to stay on the south side of it. It’s the classic case of the girlfriend asking the boyfriend, “Does this make me look fat?” On the one hand, if he says, “Yes. Yes, it does,” – assuming that’s the truth- she’ll be insulted. If he says no, he’s lying, but she won’t be insulted. Which way is better?
If the boyfriend isn’t bothered by how she looks in the outfit of question, then he could just say, “I think it looks fine,” and not be lying- Because he does think it looks fine. That is not a lie, and she is not insulted.
When someone causes some slight to you and they apologize, and you say, “Oh, it’s fine,” and really it isn’t- because they ran into you in a crowded street and you were already late for work and now you’re much more than fashionably late and you’ll probably have it on your record which was spotless until now and that includes all ten years of working there [*deep breath*] – that is a lie. But you don’t want to say something like, “Thanks a lot!” or “Way to ruin my month, lady!”. At least, you shouldn’t want to say something like that.
But you really aren’t mad at THEM. You’re mad that they ran into you. So instead of saying IT’s fine- when IT isn’t- you say, “YOU’RE fine,” because they themselves are fine, and then it’s not a lie. It’s not all the truth, but it’s not a lie either.
Sometimes, you just have to remember to withhold some of the information. You don’t say something that isn’t true, and if you are asked… well, of course, then you’d have to say it. But tact is valuable, and so is truth. That’s a tricky balance.
Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies
Tell me, tell me lies
Oh no no, you can’t disguise
No you can’t disguise
Tell me tell, me lies
~Sweet Little Lies, by Fleetwood Mac