Bad Traits/The Way We Are

Do we really have BAD qualities?
Yes, I believe we do, but which ones are bad, and which ones are just a fact of life?
Think about your closest friends and family members. Now, you probably know them pretty well, and as a result you know WHY they do what they do- at least, most of what they do, you know why or can make a pretty good guess why.
There’s probably things about them that annoy you. Things that may bug you. However, you either live with them or see them very often, and you overlook it- you know it’s not something they purposefully do to annoy you, and you’re not going to ask them to change. You know it’s just a part of who they are. I’m sure if you asked my parents, they’d have a long list of fundamental differences between us. I could do the same for them.
But the thing is, you don’t look at them and go, “Oh, yeah, they have this and this and this, and they’re all just big faults that need to change.”
I’m messy and disorganized. I know it, everybody who knows me knows it, and now you know it. On a good day I’m lucky to find my bedroom, and I would lose it if it wasn’t permanently attached to the rest of the house. My bedroom, at any given time, will look like a tornado and a Buffalo herd got together for a roller-skating party. I try to keep it clean, I really do, and I like things to be clean but they just…. won’t stay that way.
Now, is being messy a universally bad thing? Is it something everybody needs to fix? Has society decided messy people need to become neat freaks? It sometimes seems that way- not to mention that often (certainly not all the time, but often) Js (dipping into MBTI here,) are neater than Ps. I’m a P and both my parents are Js. There tends to e more Js than Ps in the population, and we’re not the “norm”.
I guess you could pass this off as me trying to talk the world into believe that everything wrong with me is just part of me. But that’s not what I’m trying to say. I’m trying to say that we don’t really know what is a bad trait and what is a good trait.

We know what the most obvious bad traits are, the ones that belong in the moral niche: lying, stealing, murdering…. you know what I mean. Those are traits we look at and go, “Okay, you need to change yourself.”
We look at people who aren’t breaking the law, and the gray area overwhelms. Some of us can accept everyone, some of us are easily rubbed the wrong way and demand compatibility of everyone.
I’m not advocating moral issues, I’m just saying that outside of those sorts of things, I don’t believe there’s many traits that are actually BAD. I believe people are born the way they are, and as long as their traits are not destructive, there’s nothing wrong with them. Being messy is no more a bad trait than liking the color blue. Being detached (often seen as bad- “down to earth” is apparently the norm everyone MUST conform to) from things often is no more a bad trait than enjoying cooking.

It can be flipped to good traits too. To elaborate on what I just said, people always talk about “down to earth” people as if they are perfect. I don’t mean anything bad, but I would like to point out that I am NOT down to earth. If it was possible to have a reverse I’d be up to sky. Does that mean down to earth is always a good trait and the opposite is always a bad trait? I don’t think so.

In short, I think that we are all born the way we are, and that’s pretty much it.

Not to change the subject in the middle but, based on that “the way people are” theme, listen to the lyrics to this song:

Laurence Gowen wrote that song after visiting a prison (VISITING, not literally being there!) and he wanted to understand a criminal. So he wrote the song.
Now, just in case you can’t listen to that right now, scroll down for the lyrics:

I stand accused before you
I have no tears to cry
And you will never break me
‘Til the day I die

A criminal mind is all I
All I’ve ever had
Ask one who’s known me
If I’m really so bad, I am

I’ve spent my life behind these steel bars
I’ve paid my debt in time
But being brought to justice
That was my only crime

My criminal mind is all I
All I’ve ever had
Ask one who’s known me
If I’m really so bad, I am

Before you hand me over
Before you read my sentence
I’d like to say a few words
Here in my own defense

Some people struggle daily
They struggle with their conscience ’til the end
I have no guilt to haunt me
I feel no wrong intent

A criminal mind is all I
All I’ve ever known
Don’t try to reform me
‘Cause I’m made of cold stone

My criminal mind is all I
All I’ve ever had
Ask one who’s known me
If I’m really so bad, I am

Oh I am, oh I am
I’m made of cold stone
I’m made of cold stone
I’m just like these prison walls

I’m made of cold stone
Got a criminal mind
A criminal mind
I got a criminal mind
A criminal mind

Okay, there’s a point- even though those are honestly bad traits, these people apparently (not all of them but many of them) are born that way. I’m not ready to go in depth on that right now- I need to think about it some more. I’m sill not siding with criminals or anything, I’m just saying what I think I may have observed. But I’m not ready to give my thoughts on that yet.

Anyway, there’s your post on traits.

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